Artist · Writer David Branstetter

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  • Nov
    8th
    Broken

    Niantic has broken me

    Almost the minute I posted my last essay on Pokemon Go, I stopped playing. I had just risen to level 21 which took almost an entire week to reach from level 20. My goal was to level up maybe once a day to catch up with all the other players who had been hitting the game hard since day one. But as I progressed through the game each level became more grueling. Level 20 seemed like a good goal post because of the new Pokeballs that you could unlock. I also got a full time job and Pokemon was definitely not high on the priority list. So it sat there for a few weeks. Meanwhile Niantic kept issuing updates and occasionally I would check in on them. I heard through the interwebs that the Halloween update would give out free Pokemon candies and the ghost characters would be more prevalent. I was excited to play again but the game just kept crashing. I had grown used to the idea of not evolving my pokemon because there would be a 80% chance the program would crash. But it was getting worse. Now the app would shut down without cause. It had become almost unusable. But I did want to take advantage of the Halloween update and so I pressed on. Quite frustratingly I had just dropped my phone and cracked the screen. It was still functioning and I didn’t let that stop me. But finally the program made itself unusable when […]

  • Aug
    16th
    Lest We Forget

    Here’s another Pokemon Go post, but this one is designed for the historical purpose of documenting the moment. You see Pokemon Go is so big right now that it astounds me how much it’s effected our culture and lifestyle. As I previously wrote, I’ve been walking like crazy. But I want to take a minute to just document the early days of Pokemon Go so that when my children ask “What was it like” I can give them a solid answer. I believe that it’s impact is so revolutionary that people will be comparing it to Beatlemania in the upcoming years. It began with a mild curiosity. My daughter was smitten with the Pikachu character because it was cute and yellow and cute. So for Christmas I bought her– and yes I mean her– a copy of Pokemon yellow for the Gameboy. I was hoping that it would encourage her to read and that we could play the game together and bond. We started to play it together but she started to lose interest. I think partly because I was controlling the game and secondly because she would have to listen to the games repetitive text. But I became hooked and we played the game for many weeks. While my interest in the game waned Ava was still smitten with the Pikachu character. So much so that she was in absolute hysterics when she saw her first genuine Pikachu stuffed animal in the wild. Now at our home we’ve absolutely […]

  • Jul
    19th
    Pokemon Go

    (or How I learned to Love the Outdoors and Stop Worrying) This summer has been the most I’ve been outside since I was a young man mowing lawns with my parents. In fact I swore that I would get an education so I’d never have to be out in the heat again. This posture has decayed a bit over the years. When I became a homeowner I took a hidden joy that I would be required to own a lawnmower and maintain my lawn. I can’t help but reminiscence about the time that I spent with my family working in the oppressive sun, getting up in the wee hours to avoid it, and the comfort of air-conditioned restaurants. As a kid all I could focus on was the intensity of the work. It ate up my summer. I didn’t get to do anything fun. I wanted to be free! While I knew how to work hard from the years I spent in the family business I was happy to take a break at my first opportunity. I think that’s what college was for. And the years following that. And a few more for good measure. I got my degree and I had now insured that I wouldn’t have to be out in the sun again, a fact that I was proud of. The funny thing about life is that you don’t know that it’s started until you’re a few years into the race. Or as Roger Waters so elegantly stated, “No […]

  • Sep
    19th
    Portable DVD player fix

    Yeah I know. Sounds like a really insightful article. Well I’ll get straight to the point. Just recently I fixed my daughters old DVD player. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why it had suddenly stopped working. It had for a long time began to shake when the player would turn on but eventually it would even out and play the disk. It finally stopped working when we needed the player for a long car trip. We tried cleaning the laser with alcohol and made sure that there was no debris around the laser. Still nothing seemed to work. We ended up just buying a replacement unit for the trip. It wasn’t till a few months later that I wanted to take a closer look at the DVD player. I figured that the shaking unit could be caused by some kind of imbalance. If the disk wasn’t properly balanced the laser would not be able to read the disk properly. I checked the connecting points on the part that holds the disk in place. Everything seemed to look good. However when I began to spin the disk holder I noticed small screws underneath it. It was there that I discovered that a tiny screw was loose. I tightened the screw and the player began to work again. It seems to shake (as before) and I think it may have lost a few tiny screws in the years that it had been used. When the disk holder is […]

  • Jan
    27th
    2013: My Musical Journey

    2013 had some incredible bright spots for me. I was able to find new music from new artists and relived some classics. My first obsession of 2013 was actually Tears for Fears of all things. One morning I woke up singing a melody that I could not shake. The only words that came to mind were “head over heals” which didn’t really seem to make sense to me. I wasn’t sure where that had come from. I googled the lyrics and quickly found that not only was I right but the band was Tears for Fears. Around 2004 Tears for Fears put out a new album and it was generally well received. I thought that it was time to give the band a shot and delve deeper into their catalog. Bit by bit I started sampling different songs from their greatest hits album Shout: The Very best of Tears for Fears. I soon found that I enjoyed almost every song equally on the disk. I consider myself a Radiohead/Thom Yorke fan so I purchased Amok by Atoms for Peace. It took me a while to get into and I never really took to the album like I thought I would. It was a dud, but not a total waste. The real problem for me was that I received an advance copy of Random Access Memories to write for the Fiddleback. I quickly dropped Amok and began to swoon over Daft Punk. The song that really stood out to me was […]

  • Nov
    21st
    Doctor Who: Prisoners of Time

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      IDW’s Doctor Who “Prisoners of Time” is the 12-part multi-Doctor crossover book that does it’s best to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. I was immediately drawn to the book because of the premise. I was however let down a little bit by the format. I assumed that the 12 issues would all be part of one long story with different incarnations of the Doctor overlapping each other. One of my favorite bits from the TV program is seeing Patrick Throughton (Doctor 2) argue with Jon Pertwee  (Doctor 3). The first issue (sporting a fantastic cover by artist Francesco Francavilla) runs a little slow and feels a little wooden. It took me a while to get into it. I thought I’ll give the second issue a chance and see how it does. It was a much better installment. It occurred to me that each issue was going to do it’s best to mimic the tone and type of stories that would be associated with each Doctor. By the third issue I could hear the actors voices in my head. I was very pleased with the series and was enthusiastic about collecting the whole set. However the series started to bog down when the pattern became very clear as to what was happening. Each issue would begin with the Doctor and his companions on a new adventure. Something during the issue (usually at the end) a mysterious hooded villain would suddenly pop up and abduct the Doctor’s companions. This […]

  • Oct
    17th
    The Proximity Problem: A Case Study in Evolution

    When discussing Evolutionary Theory, we must take into account the proximity of mating between two pairings of two sub-humans at the moment that both sub-humans pass on their identical genetic mutation. For Evolutionary theory to work, we must first assume that human life originated from both a male and a female sub-human. As we understand reproduction today, it takes both a male and female to create offspring. Let us assume that the male chromosome is actually a damaged female chromosome and a mutation. If the first human was female, then she would have to reproduce asexually until the male mutation appeared so that her offspring could mate to perpetrate the species. While some cases have shown in nature that females can spontaneously reproduce (i.e. frogs and sharks), it is a rare event. The rarity of the event would not take place in one lifetime and so therefore it would be impossible for a female to reproduce asexually. In addition to that, she would have to reproduce often and create the vital male chromosome through an extremely unlikely mutation. Therefore we must eliminate this possibility of evolution from our theory. This is important because we must establish that male and female pairings had to spawn the first human. The proximity problem comes into play because every mutation that is passed down from each successful pairing must be able to be physically passed down from one generation to the next. Yes we can assume that accidental changes in DNA can happen and […]

  • Jun
    3rd
    Daft Punk : Random Access Memories

    I started writing this review well before actually hearing Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories. In fact my enthusiasm for this record spins from a 15 second SNL clip popularized in a 10 minute loop on YouTube. I simply could not get enough of the infectious single’s “Get Lucky” loop. Then when the Coachella ad became available it was quickly remixed with the original clip and passed off as the complete song. The clip introduced us to Pharell’s gorgeous harmonies, which propelled Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” into an unforgettable track. Yeah—a track of which I had heard one minute and couldn’t get enough of. This same kind of thing happened in 2010 when the Tron: Legacy soundtrack sprouted up. People were clamoring for new Daft Punk and creating their own versions of songs based around snippets of music featured in the trailers. Daft Punk has a reputation of bringing their work to a whole other level with each release. Fans react so enthusiastically to their music because of this. In fact when Human After All, the bands third full length record, leaked in 2005 fans suspected that the new Daft Punk wasn’t really Daft Punk at all but in actuality an elaborate hoax. In comparison to their second album, Discovery, these new songs sounded haphazard, lazy, and too repetitive. That reputation was latter put to rest when these new songs were effortlessly blended with their older material during their 2007 concerts, featured on the album Alive 2007. So, it’s been 8 […]

  • Apr
    6th
    Evil Dead (2013)

    The Evil Dead 2013 Remake is an endurance test. I think it’s good to mention that if you have seen the red band trailer then just expect that kind of intensity through the whole film. Beat for beat it’s almost exactly what you’d expect if you mixed the original Evil Dead with the gritty style of the red band trailer. The film inhibits a grim world and that relentless terror that permeates the film maybe it’s greatest weakness. What makes Evil Dead 2 really sing is that knowing wink to the audience. The idea that we’re going to be taken on an unexpected thrill ride. By contrast Evil Dead 2013 is a joyless affair. There’s a lot to like about the new film, especially the intervention subplot, but the sense of wonder is saturated in dread. The film starts to run on it’s own towards the end. Due to subtle manipulations throughout the course of the film we understand the purpose of the Deadites, which has never been really clear up to this point in the franchise. The Necronomicon acts as both a warning to it’s readers and as a detailed recipe for unleashing it’s terror. When things go terribly wrong we understand how deep the consequences of failure are. I wish this aspect of the film was played up. It’s one thing to show people being butchered one by one on a small scale. It’s another thing to see how their actions could endanger other lives. When the problem […]

  • Dec
    28th
    Think Indy Reviews

    My first video review for Michael Neno’s the Signifiers

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Good Old Fashioned Hand Written Code by Eric J. Schwarz and Good Old Fashioned editing by David Branstetter